Conquer Discouragement
Practice these 10 habits to help you overcome obstacles and to pave the way to your success
How to Move Through Discouragement and Keep Going
We’ve all been there—sometimes briefly, sometimes for long stretches—feeling as if our goals will never be reached and wondering whether all the effort is even worth it. That sinking sense of defeat, the energy we’ve poured in suddenly evaporating into the thought of giving up. I know that feeling intimately.
It’s easy to slip into discouragement, and there are real reasons for it. The human brain is wired for negativity. In prehistoric times, noticing threats kept us alive. That vigilance is still in our DNA today.
There’s another layer, too: our early programming. Even in loving homes, children hear a steady stream of corrective messages—don’t do that, be quiet, you should know better. Research suggests that roughly 77% of our early conditioning is negative, not out of malice, but out of adults’ attempts to shape us into responsible humans.
And then there’s the protective instinct. When we tell ourselves it won’t work anyway, we think we’re shielding ourselves from disappointment. But in reality, we’re cutting off our own potential.
The good news? Awareness opens the door to change. Once we understand the forces working against us, we can consciously build habits that move us forward.
How to Conquer Discouragement:
1) Allow yourself to feel what you feel.
For a few minutes, let the frustration, embarrassment, anger, or disappointment move through you. Suppressed emotions don’t disappear—they just get louder. Take a walk, talk to someone, or pause. Then return to your inner strength and take action.
2) Look back at where you started.
Discouragement narrows our perspective. Revisit the beginning of your journey and notice how far you’ve come. Everyone starts somewhere. Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20.
3) Keep a compliment journal.
Carry a small, sturdy notebook and write down every compliment you receive—big or small. Include the date, the situation, and who said it. When you hit a low moment, reading your own “evidence file” can lift you back up.
4) Ask yourself how you’ve survived past setbacks.
In the middle of a slump, it’s easy to believe you’ll never get out. But you’ve been here before—and you made it through. What helped you then? Those same strengths are still in you now.
5) Reflect on setbacks that pushed you forward.
Some of your greatest growth likely came from moments that didn’t go as planned. Setbacks teach strategy, resilience, and clarity. What have yours taught you?
6) Use empowering self-talk to rewire your brain.
We can’t control the external world, but we can shape our thoughts and mindset. Notice your automatic thinking, challenge it, and replace it with supportive language. Apps like Aura, ThinkUp, I Am, or Good Mind can help. Repetition for three weeks begins to build new neural pathways. You become what you practice.
7) Practice gratitude, compassion, and pride.
These three emotions build grit.
Gratitude releases feel‑good hormones and shifts your focus.
Compassion softens self-judgment and strengthens connection.
Pride reinforces your sense of capability—no achievement is too small to celebrate.
8) Surround yourself with positive people.
Spend time with those who encourage your growth. Distance yourself from voices that diminish your dreams or reinforce limiting beliefs.
9) Be mindful of expectations.
Expectations can motivate—or they can crush. Aim for doing your best, not for perfection. Mastery takes time. When you’re in a dip, stay committed to the process rather than obsessing over the outcome.
10) Practice mindful breathing.
Mindful breathing calms the nervous system and reduces the anxiety that fuels discouraging thoughts. Apps like Headspace, Calm, or simple YouTube breathing exercises can guide you.
The Bottom Line
Setbacks are inevitable in life and career. But practicing these habits builds the resilience you need to move through obstacles and toward success. Remember: a 100% commitment only 30% of the time is still just 30% commitment. As Charmas Lee says, tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes. Give yourself fully to your goals—your future self will thank you.
Wilma Wever, May 2018