Conquer Discouragement
We’ve all been there, sometimes or regularly, feeling that our goal seems unlikely ever to get accomplished and, therefore, not worth the effort we put in. The feeling of defeat, the zest we’ve put into getting this far, flushing into the thought of giving up. I know it too well.
It’s easy to do, and there’s a reason for it. The human brain gravitates towards negativity because of our evolution. In prehistoric days, we had to be able to register threats. Focusing on the bad helped us to avoid danger and to survive. Till today, it is still wired into our genetics.
There’s another reason as well. We are programmed since birth. As children we heard repeatedly, don’t do that, you should know better, you’re not good at this, be quiet, why are you always so out of control, and so on. Even when we’re brought up in harmonic circumstances and in a loving family, 77% of our programming has been negative as an effort to shape us into well-adjusted human beings.
We also use negativity as a defense system. When we tell ourselves, it won’t work out anyway, it’s a protection against disappointment. Not realizing that simultaneously, it stops us from giving our best.
Awareness of these stoppers opens the way for solutions.
How to conquer discouragement:
1) For a few minutes, go ahead, be annoyed, feel embarrassed, angry, frustrated.
2) Think back to where you started and notice your progress.
3) List the compliments you’ve received through the years.
4) Ask yourself, how have I survived setbacks in the past.
5) Think of setbacks that have made you move forward.
6) Use empowering self-talk to combat your genetic wiring, programming in your upbringing, and yearning to avoid disappointments.
7) Practice gratitude, compassion, and pride to build grit.
8) Surround yourself with positive people.
9) Be careful with expectations.
10) Do mindful breathing.
Go ahead, be annoyed, and feel embarrassed, angry, frustrated, and disappointed, for a few minutes
It’s okay to feel what you feel. Let it out. Buckled-up feelings are not doing anyone any good. You might need to take a walk, talk to a friend, or let it rest. But then, come back to your mental abilities and take-action.
Think back to where you started and notice your progress
In a dark moment, it’s hard to keep perspective. So, take a moment and think back to where your journey began and realize how much you’ve accomplished. Everybody starts somewhere. Avoid comparing your Chapter 1 with someone else’s Chapter 20.
List the compliments you’ve received through the years
Get yourself a small notebook, not too small, but small (and sturdy!) enough to carry it daily. Whenever you receive a compliment, write it down. You can include the date, situation, and person who gave it to you to add more sensory memory when you read it back. Any praise and admiration is relevant. A compliment is a compliment. Reading your collection of kudos gets you back in the saddle when you experience a setback.
Ask yourself, how have I survived setbacks in the past
When you’re in the middle of a setback, it’s easy to get into catastrophic thinking. It feels like there’s no hope, and there never will be. But I bet you’ve been in a slump before and got out of it. Can you think back? What did you do to move on? If you did it then, you can do it now.
Think of setbacks that have made you move forward
Setbacks are great ways to learn new strategies and adjust your goals, such as making them smaller. They make you realize your challenges and your strengths. A setback can help you to direct you in a better direction. Looking back, what have your setbacks taught you?
Use empowering self-talk to combat your genetic wiring, programming in your upbringing, and yearning to avoid disappointments
We usually have no control over the external world, but we actually can control our thoughts, feelings, and mindset. Wire the left part of your brain, the success center of the brain, using positive self-talk daily. First, become aware of your automatic thinking, do a reality check, and import encouragement into your language. As a result, you’ll start to feel better as well. If you find it challenging to develop positive self-talk, several apps can help, such as Self-Talk, Aura Health, Good Mind, Think Up, I Am, Mantra, Mesmerize, and more. The key is daily repetition for three weeks to create new wiring in your brain. You get what you repeat.
Practice gratitude, compassion, and pride
We are evolutionarily programmed to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy. But we can generate grit and self-control by practicing gratitude, compassion, and pride. Being compassionate creates a good feeling inside and strengthens connections in our network. Expressing gratitude releases happy hormones and lifts our mood. Make it a daily habit. Pride involves feelings of accomplishment and makes us more confident. Don’t be frugal; be proud of your achievements. No accomplishment is too small.
Surround yourself with positive people
Hang out with people who support you to help you improve and strengthen your abilities. Beware those who take you down by saying things like, only outstanding artists can make it in the business, and such.
Be careful with expectations
They can accelerate your motivation to reach your goals or leave you peevish when you don’t meet the standard you had in mind. Strive for ‘doing your best.’ Achieving goals takes time. Mastery requires patience. Take one step at a time. Stay with your current trajectory while in a dip, don’t focus on the outcome.
Do mindful breathing
With mindful breathing, we can promote relaxation and decrease the stress and anxiety that come along with debilitating thoughts. Bringing attention to the breath balances the nervous system and creates positive automatic thoughts over time. You can find many apps to help, Headspace, Calm, the Mindfulness App, or YouTube channels with mindful breathing exercises.
Setbacks are unavoidable in life and career, but practicing these 10 habits will help you overcome obstacles and pave the way to success. Recognize a 100% commitment 30% of the time is only a 30% commitment. Give yourself entirely to your endeavors because tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes (Charmas Lee).
Empowering wishes,
Wilma